One of my shortcomings is that I try to control everything and everyone around me, except for myself. I didn’t see the inconsistency in this thinking. Even now, that I know better, I often find myself slipping back into old thought patterns and actions – especially when things get hard or something new happens.
My loved one is looking at schools. When they are accepted to 3 schools I know they are about to choose a school I don’t want them to go to. Previously I would have coerced them into going to a school of my choice since I am helping to pay for it, but I am striving to turn over a new leaf. I ask them to pray about their decision. We talk about the importance of letting God guide us in our lives and about following promptings. After praying, my loved one returns and tells me they feel they should attend one of the other schools. They end up having a great school experience and making lots of good friends. Because we talked about things and I allowed my loved one to make their own decision they learned lessons that will help them in future decision making settings. I got to practice letting go of trying to control things I really cannot control.
As I learn more healthy ways of relating with others, I am learning to trust my Heavenly Father. I know that trusting God and his plan for me and for others makes me happy and takes away fear and anxiety. But, I keep giving God my will, then taking it back again. Slowly, I am learning to trust God more, and to give Him my will more often and more easily and for longer periods of time. Letting others be in control of themselves gives me a lot more time to focus on me, to work on myself and to learn to make my own decisions.
Today, am I working on controlling the only thing I really can, myself?
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